Thursday, June 12, 2014

SATIRE: Styx Sue Radio Over Too Much Airplay

(Editor's Note: This is not a bonafide news story...it is a satirical piece..but, unfortunately, it is within the realm of possbility.)


Frustrated with their current lot in life, 1970’s arena rock stars Styx are suing over 420 classic rock radio stations, according to glossynews.com.

A lawsuit was filed in federal court in Los Angeles on Monday alleging financial fraud.

“We are just sick and tired of hearing our songs played over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again,” said an exasperated Shaw.

Styx used to fill large arena’s in the 1970’s with people who couldn’t get enough of their hit songs like “Come Sail Away” and “Babe.” Now they are lucky to fill up a bowling alley with their once loyal fan base.

Tommy Shaw
Fresh in the middle of their Native American casino tour, the band made the decision to sue the radio stations that once made them megastars. According to Shaw, radio is responsible for their downfall.

“I don’t know what radio programmer thought it would be a good idea to play this music over and over and over and over and over and over and over again for more than forty years, but if I find the son-of-a-bitch he is going to pay!

Maybe just maybe if you didn’t hear our songs on the radio every 90 minutes, there might still be a demand for our music and we might actually be selling records.

The band is suing 423 radio stations in the United States and Canada, asking for 25 cents for every song played over the radio since 1982. They picked 1982 as they figured most of their music should have run its course for radio airplay by that point.

The total amount of the lawsuit for 32 years of overplay is $14,821,920, and that’s a very conservative estimate of 3 songs per day per station.

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